Don't say " to the children; don't "2016-07-22 05:16:59 278 ℃
In your daily life, do you often say "no" to your children?
As one is about to enter"Terrible 2"Mom, I have to go through every day N want to say "no" to her:
"Don't eat snacks!"
"Can not grab the phone!"
Many mom and I chat, are also mentioned, wow, "can't", "don't", it is not every day blurt out mantra?
However, the effect of how it?
"She doesn't listen to me! I won't let her touch the dirt, she's going to touch it! The more you say, the more she gets up!"
"It's love love naysayers, the boy suddenly hit me, I said that my mother ache, can not play! He actually laughed and played more! It ticks me off！ Is not a rebellious period ah? Too difficult to control!"
Although each child in the process of gradually growing up, the development of autonomy, there will be some challenges parents of school-age behavior, but it,Don't take your child to your words, just because it is a bear..
As you are curious to open this article, you have not thought about, is the way out of the question?
We need to set the boundaries of the rules for children, and children need to express the concept of "can not", but, we must say - "no" - to achieve it?
Psychology has a famous experiment:
I'm online under the positive discipline in the classroom will and students cite this example is the participants closed their eyes and said, "don't imagine a pink elephant, do not think of a pink elephant, don't imagine a pink elephant." But no one has ever succeeded,"Teacher, my brain is a pink elephant!!"
We often say "no" to the children, as if they were asked to "not to imagine a pink elephant", "do not open a good article",The information behind the words, is infinite amplification and strengthen the.
So, a lot of time, really is not a child bear, is our way of expression is wrong ah!
So how do you say that?
1, with the attitude and action, tell the child what is not"
The child roared again, louder than the child, shouting "don't yell."!" Might as well try,By using the principle of "mirror neuron", and the child gently said: "baby, what's wrong? What do you want to say?" Or stroking his back, while gently shook his head, smiling to make "hush" silent action.
2, the "no" language, translated into "positive language"
Many times, "no" language failure, is that children do not know, what do they do nextJust tell him what you're looking for and what you're looking for, and what you're looking for.:
"Can not grab the phone!" -- please return your cell phone to your mother.
"You can't beat my mother!" -- gently touch mom, okay?
3, limited choice.
We do not let the children do, really can not do it? Or just time, place is wrong, need to be limited.Can give the child to set two options, respect for the principle of the adult, but also to the child to choose the right.
For example, the child has been eating snacks, do not brush your teeth:
"Baby, do you want to eat another 3 or 5? You come to decide."
"Honey, do you want an apple flavored toothpaste or a strawberry flavored toothpaste? You come to decide."
4, ask the child heuristic problem.
Instead of telling them what to do and what to do, it's better to tell them what to do and what to do.To throw the ball back to the child, the ability to train children to think independentlyAnd the more they think about it, the more likely they are to obey it!
"Hurry up and rub against the sun!" Vs "baby, what should we do if we don't get burnt in the White House?"
"Don't touch, hurry up and get dressed!" Vs "baby, how to do, in order to not be late for school?"
You see, we had so many instead of "no" way of speaking, try to change the way and children to communicate it! Many parents and I said, "oh my God, this is so hard, oh, I simply can not and the child said, every time I have to swallow the words to the mouth feeling, or say 'no' to simple fun!"
I deeply understand it. Our language model, also came from the original family, my dear Ma Ma ago often and I said, "do not stay up all night", "don't busy won't eat, fortunately, after my subtle influence, she said wisely," 11 o'clock to rest, "you are busy when you can prepare a fruit."
We are so eager to love children properly,
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