What if children rebel? Congratulations, of course

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What if children rebel? Congratulations, of course

2017-09-28 19:22:07 109 ℃

writing|Jianjianzhou

Comic| Superman dad Sago

A friend came to me with a sad face, saying that my daughter was in junior high school this year and was the ideal school.

I said, "this is a good thing, what do you worry about?"

A friend shook her head and said, since the new school, the daughter of huge change before well behaved sensible, never did any disobedience to parents things, now like the barrel of gunpowder, and loses her temper.

This can not be allowed to carry the school back pot, I'm afraid the child into adolescence, is experiencing "growing pains"?.

A friend, guard, anxiously asked what to do? Heard a lot of good children, to adolescence on treason, and from now on with the parents of fire and water, and finally go astray......

The idea of a friend is also estimated by most parents.

In the eyes of most people, rebellious pressure is not a good word, a rebellious child, it means erring and worthless, parent-child conflict, is bad, etc..

In fact, treason itself is nothing to worry about, children have rebellious consciousness, and I would like to congratulate you, because it shows that the child's self-awareness has grown, he began to move forward to an independent individual.

Most of the parents cannot accept the rebellious, just because parents authority by the children's challenge, angry.

Or, the parents did not understand the psychological motivations behind the rebellious children, everything looks out, all regarded as great scourges.

In contrast, always a very obedient, never never trouble rebellious children, it is more worthy of concern.

Such a child is difficult to develop an independent personality, grow up easily lack of ideas, but also often no sense of purpose and self-confidence.

However, even if the parents realize that children rebel is the only way, but in the face of outrageous behavior in children is easily ruffled feathers.

Some children will become fond of talking back to their parents and let him go east. He must be heading west.

Some children begin to refuse to communicate with their parents. They are short tempered and difficult to communicate with.

Some children, influenced by their companions, even want to try some minor taboos, such as smoking, drinking, fighting, puppy love and so on.

However, almost all treachery comes from children's resistance to restrictions and fetters. He's just trying to prove that he's an independent individual, and that he can be his own master.

Only by really understanding this can parents accept the rebellious behavior of their children from the bottom of their heart.

In the process of children's development, rebellion is a good thing. Only when parents treat rebellious attitudes and ways will they really determine the future direction of their children.

I am a colleague of friends, foreign executives, career very successful, but parent-child relationship has become a thorn in her heart.

In the company, she and resolute, the company under the management of hundreds of people at home with ease, but there is no way to get the only son -- he would hardly speak to her now.

She was used to it, and her style of work was always strong, so when her son showed signs of rebellion, she took the wrong approach.

These severe restrictions and punishments were effective in the early days of their children, but this time they failed completely, not only that, but also a greater resistance to the child.

Now, whatever she said, sons are firmly opposed, where she demands children rebel, even her son wanted to say a few words, he is impatient, directly closed the door, open the DND mode.

In fact, if she had not been so rude to her son's "growth declaration", everything would have been different.

Just a few months ago, CCTV broadcast a documentary series, called "mirror", the 3 parents were sent to special schools for school children "reform" as the breakthrough point, a comprehensive open mode of parent-child relationship of 3 families.

Parents because the children refused to go to school, irritable and rebellious and painful, but never thought that it is their children's normal growth needs of forced restrictions and rough interference, only to lead to child behavior deviation.

The child's rebellion is a sign that he is declaring "I am grown up" to my parents and reminding my parents not to be my Lord anymore".

This signal is interpreted correctly if parents can timely adjust their roles in parent-child relationship, can help children grow smoothly, parent-child relationship will be more closely, on the other hand, will be very easy for the child to rebel.

The control of parent, or let the children lose the power of growth, a lack of independent personality, no assertive and confident person, either way will want to grow to the child, he will back into dead end.

Faced with rebellion, parents need to control not the children, but their emotions and attitudes.

Author

Jianjianzhou

Senior media writer and columnist

Co founder of one parent

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