Unprincipled parents have no rules for children

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Unprincipled parents have no rules for children

2018-04-26 10:25:08 126 ℃

Author: Ma Xiaohe

Source: daughter sent (ID: nverpai)

The principle of unconditional love and persistence is not inconsistent. In fact, it must also exist. Otherwise, love will become love. .


01

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Recently, there was a video that was especially fire.

A father, visiting his supermarket with two daughters, the naughty little daughter deliberately knocked something out of her sister's hand.

Dad firmly apologized to her sister for the younger daughter. The younger daughter insisted on his resignation. Dad’s attitude was resolute and she must apologize.

The youngest daughter began to shamelessly lie on the ground, excusing herself, "I didn't mean to. ".

His father insisted and said: "Whether or not you deliberately apologize."

The sister to the side wants to break the deadlock and says: "Forget it, don't apologize." p>

The youngest daughter rushed to find a step for herself: “She said no need to apologize.”

But Dad insisted:“Either your sister must apologize or not, you must apologize.

Father and daughter's behavior caused crowding, some people could not stand on it and encouraged Dad to smokeShe has a big slap in the face, so she must be obedient.

Of course, Dad didn't use it but just showed his attitude again, "I must say I'm sorry."

Finally, under Dad's insistence, the little girl finally said "I'm sorry".

In the eyes of his father, he must apologize to anyone for making a mistake. This is a matter of principle. No discussion is allowed. No matter if the child is shameless, or if someone expresses feelings or provocation, he insists on himself. The principle must allow the daughter to perform in the end.

The most important thing, Lincoln said, is that you can stick to principles at a crucial moment.

Educating children is the same.

02

After reading “Mother is Superman,” Ma Yashu’s education has been trumpeted by many people.

A lot of people are puzzled why this person, who said “No” or “No”, has been strictly prohibited from doing this for the child. The child turned a deaf ear to what she said and she did not. In mind.


There is this In the details, she took the children to the food market. The two children touched the fish with their hands. The mother was on the verge of desperation. He said many times "No" or "No". The siblings were deterred by the wind. After the elder sister finished touching, the younger brother was still tight. Follow it.

But after seeing the back, everyone gradually came to understand why the child turned a deaf ear to her.

On one occasion, Mia, the daughter who hadn't recovered from a cold, wanted to eat ice cream. Maya Shu did not agree. Mia fell to the ground and cried and screamed again. Helplessly, Maya Shu had to agree to go to the supermarket to buy ice cream.

Similarly, in the food market, the children just finished eating cakes and they had to eat bread. Maya Shu was also rejected at first. The children cried and shouted again. They couldn't be effective, but they changed into spoiling. "Mom, I beg you!".

Sure enough, Maya Shu immediately served soft, still took out bread.

These scenes are often performed in their homes. The children know their mother's weakness. As long as they cry and make trouble, their mothers will give up.

Even she herself says: "I should be a good compromise mother."

"Every time she cries, my insistence has dropped to zero."

Without the bottom line, there is no concession to the principle. Over time, her "not" or "not" does nothing to the child.

It can be said that Maya Shu successfully used non-principle, and the child would only step back after crying, turning his child into a “bear child” with super-willfulness.

Education experts say that once children are told to “not work”, they must insist.

If parents do not insist on their own requirements, the child will think that parents say "no" is not serious.

03

Recently, the neighboring beanie mother told me about her annoyance:

With children visiting supermarkets, children want to buy toys, don’t promise children, and children cry and leave noisily. So many people stared, the scene was extremely embarrassing, but she had no choice but to compromise with the child.

"There are a lot of toys at home. I have never advocated that children should develop the bad habit of 'what to buy,' but when he cries, he doesn't know what to do?" /p>

The irritability of Peas mom may be encountered by most parents. It is also a common problem of many families. Various rules are set for children. However, when a child cries, the parents will be confused and lose their interest. in principle.

Once in a circle of friends, I saw the way childbearing, shared by the professor of psychology, Li Meikai, to benefit from the benefits.

One day, Professor Li’s daughter also presented an impolite shopping request. After she refused, her daughter cried.

She was calm and let her daughter cry. She did not shake her principles and insisted on taking her daughter home.

After returning home, stay with her daughter in the room and ignore her crying.

Passed her daughter a hot towel and wiped her face with a tearful face.

So quietly sat in front of her and watched her cry until she was exhausted.

After the child cried for a long time, when he saw her mother's attitude, she did not relax.

Since then, the child has never made any rude demands.

I admire the professor's practice, insisting on his own principles, letting children understand their unreasonable demands and not changing their children's crying.

At the same time, let the children feel the "I do not agree with you to do this, but I still love you, will care about you, will not abandon you away" sense of security.

Luqiu Luwei said that the principle of unconditional love and adherence is not contradictory. In fact, it must also exist. Otherwise, love will become love.

04

In the picture book "I love you forever" there is this Dialogue:

Ali: "If you make my pillow fly feathery, do you still love me?"

Mom : "I love you forever, but you have to pack up the feathers."

Ali: "If I paint the paint on my sister, you still love it." Me?

Mom: "I love you forever, but you're responsible for bathing your sister."

The mother took pains to guarantee her children, "I love you forever," but it also has its own principles. You must take responsibility for your own mistakes.

Two days ago, a piece of news in the circle of friends drew widespread debate.

A fourth grader, who stands at one meter and four meters tall and can be called a big boy's "bear child," pushes pregnant women who have been pregnant for more than four months from behind, and almost causes abortion in pregnant women.

What is even more infuriating is that, when asked why, the child said without hesitation: “I watched pregnant women falling on TV and would have miscarriage. I would like to see if she would also miscarry.

It's hard to believe that a child in grade 4 only made such crazy behavior and said so coldly.

But again listen to the child's grandma's reaction. “He's still a child. What do you and your kids care about?”

You'll immediately realize how the “bear child” develops. It's up.

The phrase “he is still a child” destroys many children. It is important that parents tell children right from childhood that they are right and wrong. What can and cannot be done.

To love children is our instinct. Parents adhere to their own principles, give children rules and rules, and let him grow into a noble and noble man. This is our responsibility.

05

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In Cecilia Cheung's "Every Day, Up," he once told his childcare book.

To the two sons who love the toy, Cecilia Cheung's principle is: You can only pick one of your favorite ones at a time, and tell them that what Mum says can never change.

The two children who are obedient will pick the favorite toy each time. Because it is hard to come by, it is even more precious to the toy.

Parents' love for children is far-reaching.

Parents who love their children unconditionally must adhere to their own principles and allow them to follow the basic rules. Your children will have rules in the future.

Lastly share with you the memorandum of the American school to parents:

  1. Do not love me. I know very well that I should not get everything I ask for, and my unreasonable demands are only trying to test you.

  2. Don't be afraid to be fair to me. This will make me feel safe.

  3. Do not let me develop bad habits. When I was young, I had to rely on you to judge right or wrong.

  4. Do not make me think that making a mistake is like committing a crime, it will weaken my hope for life.

This article is reproduced from: Daughter (micro signal: nverpai)