The greatest cruelty of parents to their children is to let go of freedom in learning.

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The greatest cruelty of parents to their children is to let go of freedom in learning.

2019-04-01 11:25:27 593 ℃


Under certain circumstances, parents should know how to"force"their children to do something they do not like. Learning is never a happy and relaxed teacher. It is perseverance and perseverance that is better than interest. There is a classic line in

in "Little Separation": "If you can't get into a key high school, you can't get into a key university. If you can't get into a key university, you'll end your life."

these words have stabbed the pain point in most parents of students: Should parents force their children to learn or should they give them a happy childhood? The topic of


always reminds people of Dong Qing's father's educational style.

Both Dong Qing's parents graduated from Fudan University. As the first intellectuals who changed their fate through the college entrance examination in New China, Dong Fu's worship of "diligence" far exceeded his respect for any belief. Therefore, he had the same expectation for his daughter Dong Qing, who played the role of "tiger dad" in front of her from an early age and was very strict with her .“ Devil Education".

Dong Qing did not start living with her parents until she was 7 years old, when her father asked her to do housework: wash the dishes and wipe the floor every day; in order to guarantee the study time, his father even refused to let Dong Qing look in the mirror, grow long hair and let her mother not wear new clothes to Dong Qing. In his eyes, girls spend too much energy on dressing up to be vulgar and unnecessary.

"My father has a famous saying that potatoes are potatoes when they are dressed up again. He says that you should spend less time in the mirror every day than reading more books." When Dong Qing was a little literate, her father asked her to copy idioms and ancient poems everyday, read them aloud and recite them. A little older, and let her copy ancient Chinese.

In addition to excellent cultural achievements, his father also asked Dong Qing to have a healthy body. At that time, her task of running every morning was one kilometer. If she could not finish the morning exercises before the students came out, she would have to accept the "review" of the whole school.

"I feel very silly running alone on the 400-meter runway. The whole school's classmates and teachers seem to be watching you, like Forrest Gump."

After Dong Qing was promoted to high school, her father began to urge her to work-study every winter and summer vacation. Dong Qing talked about one of the most bitter experiences: "I was only 15 years old, working as a cleaner in a hotel, 10 rooms, 20 beds, cleaning by myself."

Because you can't lift a heavy Simmons, often you're tired and half dead before you can make the sheets. Because the hands and feet are too slow, often miss lunch time, others have gone to eat, only they are still there foolishly.

Later, facing her father who came to inspect the work, Dong Qing cried loudly and said, "Dad, I'm really tired. I don't want to do it!" However, in the face of his daughter's almost begging eyes, the father just kept silent. After the other party calmed down a little, he touched the child's head and said, "Strong." Stick to it again. In the face of all kinds of strict education, Dong Qing doubted that she was not born, and did not understand his father's educational methods until she grew up.

Dong Qing's father once apologized to her. "Sorry, it's too strict with you these years. Forgive Dad." Today, Dong Qing can't describe how she felt when she heard her father's words.

Now, in retrospect, everything my father asked me to do was right... I agree with my father's way of education, although I suffered a lot of grievances at that time, but now I think back, nothing bad, he let me become a very strong child in my heart.
< p> < strong > 02

< p > < strong > parents force their children to persist in the future.

Jay Chou, king of music circles, visited Luyu Youyi and admitted that he was forced to learn the piano himself. At first, he learned to draw, but he was very playful and did not improve for a long time, and soon gave up. Later he changed to piano.

In order to prevent his son from repeating the same mistake, whenever he practices the piano, his mother stands behind with a stick, for this reason, one stop is five or six years... In the program, Jay Chou said that if there were no mother's persecution, there would be no oneself today. As parents, we all know that children are typical of "like the new and hate the old". A toy, when it comes to children's hands, won't last more than three days. Why is that? Because children are curious and thirsty for knowledge, once they are familiar with something, the heat will soon disappear.

But learning a skill, besides interest, is more important to persevere, and parents'persecution is to guide children to understand perseverance.

There is a question like this: If the success rate of one thing is 1%, what is the probability of success at least once if you try 100 times? The alternative answers are 10%, 23%, 38% and 63%. As a result, most of the candidates were 10%, a few 23%, very few 38%, and 63% were almost unavailable. However, the correct answer is: if the success rate is 1%, it means that the failure rate is 99%. According to 100 repeated attempts, the failure rate is 99% of the 100 power, about 37%, and the final success rate should be 100% minus 37%, or 63%. The success rate of

one thing can be increased from 1% to 63% by repeated attempts and perseverance. It can be seen that in the process of learning, when children encounter some difficulties, such as laziness, they should guide their children not to abandon or give up, and stick to it as usual -- < strong > parents, which is a compulsory course to help children bring their dreams into reality.


How high parents'thoughts are, how far children can fly. Good parents should give their children two things: a healthy life and the ability to live the life they like!

A friend is the chief physician of a third-tier hospital. He is a senior doctor at a young age and is well-known in the industry. Her children have a higher starting point than those of ordinary families. Even if the child does not work so hard, I believe that depending on her social status and income, the child will live a carefree life in the future.

However, this friend is not satisfied with the child's "food and clothing without worries". She knows that to cultivate a good child, it is not only the child itself, but also the parents'own educational level, vision experience, understanding of policy, material conditions, soft resources, educational participation, time and energy invested in children, and so on. So from the age of two or three, she began to cultivate children's interests and hobbies in all aspects, accompany their children to read classics of Chinese studies, take their children to concerts and so on. The process of forcing children to learn may be cruel, but behind the cruelty, we can see the parents'determination to cultivate their children's long-term vision and guide them to success. We don't necessarily have to learn from Dong Qing's father-like way of education, but we must let our children understand the significance of learning and persistence, and never let them be laissez-faire.

Finally, I attach a paragraph written by Long Yingtai to my son Andre: Child, I ask you to study hard, not because I want you to compare with others, but because I hope you will have the right to choose meaningful, time-consuming jobs in the future, instead of being forced to make a living.

Hope that every child can be "forced" to develop unlimited potential at the age of learning, and that every parent can give the child energy for life.