The American Academy of Pediatrics has shown that lack of time to play freely reduces children's creativity.2019-04-25 21:30:33 629 ℃
, I picked up my child from school and met something on the way that made me laugh and cry. A Baoma stopped Xiaona, a girl who was walking in front of me. Xiaona and Lily, the daughter of the Baoma, were in the same class. "How about listening to Lily's recitation?" The treasure mother pulled Xiao Na out of her cell phone and let Xiao Na listen. Later, the treasure mother saw me and her son, released Xiaona, and stopped us. She had to let us listen to her daughter's recitation, and Xiaona fled. Out of courtesy, I greeted a few words, but Baoma had to listen to me, so my son and I stood by the road and listened for about five minutes.
This treasure mother resigned for her daughter, took good care of her children, put all her efforts on her children, let them report to all kinds of interest classes without saying, and especially liked to compare. At the end of each exam, she would send me a message asking my son how he did in the exam. If her daughter did well in the exam, she would take the exam paper in her hand, walk home from the school gate and show off all the way.
It seems that the love of comparison is a common problem of Chinese parents. This kind of comparison has begun since the birth of the child. Whose child eats imported milk powder, we have to buy it; Whose child is as old as our child, whose family has five teeth, and our child has only three; Whose child has two points more than our child in the exam, and our child has to submit to a study class to make up for it, etc. And so on. Of course, we have a good child, must be happy, certainly want to show off, occasionally in front of their relatives to praise the child, or understandable, but I think it is somewhat too much to go everywhere to say about the child. Parents who like to compare their children will not only be disgusted by others, but also hurt their children too much. Specifically, there are four main aspects: (1) let the children lose self-confidence and become inferior< Teenagers Talk). A girl cries to her mother and says, "Mom, why do you always compare me with my cousin? My cousin is very excellent, but my cousin is excellent. Your daughter works hard too. Why don't you see her? Really love this girl, efforts should not be more worthy of recognition and praise? Why was she criticized by her mother because she was worse than her cousin?
Every child has its own advantages and disadvantages. For example, some children are naturally athletic and run faster than other children, but our children's athletic ability is a weakness. If we often compare their weaknesses with the strengths of others, children will magnify their weaknesses, fail to see their own strengths, and feel that they are useless. Parents do everything they do. A comparison, let the child's self-confidence a little less, and ultimately let the child completely lose self-confidence, become inferior.
Whether a person can succeed or not has a great relationship with his or her self-confidence. The purpose of our appreciation education is to strengthen his or her self-confidence. Every child is different and must have his or her good side. It is the job of parents to discover his or her flashing points, not to magnify his or her shortcomings with a magnifying glass. Otherwise, children will lose the opportunity of personalized development and success.2. Every comparison between parents makes children sad and heavy psychological burden
adds weight to their children. If children want to be what their parents expect, they need to make constant efforts, make constant progress and surpass. Most importantly, there is no end to parental comparisons, the objects of comparison will become more and more excellent, and the children will become more and more stressed and eventually be overwhelmed. Parents always want their children to be better and better than others, but we have to think about it. If the children ask you, "My classmate's father is the Secretary of the county Party committee, why don't you?" What will happen to us? We are not good enough. Why should we ask our children to be so good? As long as the child is healthy, happy and has a positive and progressive mind, it is enough. Not only the first is excellent, but the second is also good. Change the thinking of dualism, and look at our children from different angles, you will find more advantages in children.< p> < strong> 3. Draw enmity, let the child lose friends < p> Every time relatives and friends gather together, the topic of discussion is indispensable to the child. When I was young, my aunts and uncles gathered every year to talk about their children's achievements, and then commented on who did well and who did not do well. The praised children naturally frowned, and the criticized children frowned and grieved.
I remember one Spring Festival when my cousin who had always studied well scored a very bad result and was criticized by seven aunts and eight aunts. Because I did better than my cousin in the exam, a group of people praised me more, and I had a feeling of raising my eyebrows and breathing, "Humph! It's finally your turn to criticize you. It's not good, is it?
My cousin saw through my careful thought. He threw one of my favorite toys in a ditch behind the house while I wasn't paying attention. It made me remember it for a long time. Not only children, but also adults will compete secretly, and then put all this effort on the children, "You must learn better than *** and don't be ashamed of me * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "
Comparisons of parental love can breed jealousy in children. People who are too jealous can't see others better than themselves, or they will be unhappy. As the famous poet Ai Qing said,"Jealousy is a tumour of the mind". Children who grow up under the comparison of their parents will be unhappy when they grow up. This is something that no parent wants to see. < p > < strong > 4. Reduce children's creativity and ability to adapt to the environment < / strong > < / P > < p > In addition to going to school, children now spend a lot of time in interest classes. By the weekend, many children are busy in various interest classes, very busy. An important reason for this phenomenon is the comparison between parents.
"The children of other families know 3000 words before they go to elementary school", "The children of neighbor Zhang Jie have passed Grade 10 on the piano", "The children of colleagues have been in interest classes since they were three years old". Many parents, in order to make their children better than others, report all kinds of interest classes to their children, filling their children's time with no space and depriving them of free play time.
American Academy of Pediatrics research shows that free play without organization and plan can benefit babies immensely. It helps babies become more creative, find their passion, and develop the ability to solve problems in harmony with others and adapt to the environment. Parents'responsibility is to accompany their children through a period of time so that they have courage and strength to take the rest of their lives, rather than to build a super child. It is far more important to have a healthy psychology in childhood than to win many trophies.img src="/1ydzximg/0LpbTMGCNS"/>
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