There is a kind of injury, called "mother do not you".2016-07-23 03:32:06 396 ℃
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Two days ago and colleagues travel, there are a few people are taking the baby together, one of the baby is less than two years old, the whole tour, like a kangaroo hanging on her mother.
The baby turned his face.
"Baby, your mother does not want you, I take you to buy the sugar to eat!"
The baby with a little cry cavity said: "can not do, can not do not!"
I took a look at my colleagues, that is, the baby's mother,Nothing to stop this "dialogue"But with echo (the young girl) colleagues smile on the baby said: "Mom, don't you, you follow the aunt to buy delicious Bai!"
There is a kind of violence called "cold violence""!
It hurts sometimes even than index but also your baby suffered abuse. The most critical issue is the cold violenceDamage your baby's sense of security, the love of the parents to question, and then lead to a more serious problem!
What circumstances are the cold violence of others?
After second babies were born, many people will say to the big baby: "your mother has had a baby, do not you not to hurt you!"
A few children to play together, one of the children did not behave well: "you how so naughty, a little like other children so well behaved!"
, to socialize, friends are forced from the your hand holding the baby: ", aunt hug, your mother have other things. Don't be afraid."
Take the baby to go out to play, tired to work, together with the people who go ahead: "see your mother tired, your mother has long been sorry to take you out to play!"
Most of the time, in order to deal with each other's words, do not let the other side face, we often echoed not correct. There seems to be nothing on the surface, but in fact, a similar incident occurs, the baby's performance will not be too good:Hold my mother, struggling not to cry, crying, holding someone shouting.....In short, the child would like to express the point of view is that:IDo not openHeart!And at this time, adults but feel very interesting, the performance was exaggerated, and even directly laugh up!
What should we do?
Language: a clear and clear position
Last month to send the baby back home for a period of time, home to the guests, my husband and I prepared after eating lunch on the starting back to Shenzhen. I spent the whole morning in the baby and why we need to go ahead to communicate, although he is reluctant to part, accepted.
But when we are ready to go, which a guest on my son said: "your mama don't you, want to go!"
I see tears in the eyes of my son. I immediately replied: "baby, mother in the morning and you have said, because the grandmother in the home there is something, and mom and dad have to go back to work in Shenzhen, so will go back to the." Turned head to voice a bit serious to the relative said: "XX, I am sorry, you just expression is wrong, we just go back in advance, will soon come back to pick him up."
The guest was so embarrassed, but to say a sentence: "I have a joke!"
I do not have too much debate, holding the baby gone.
This cold violence, the best way is to first use language to appease the baby, and then seriously express their views, and as soon as possible to leave the scene, the transfer of the baby's attention.
Behavior: more close to the baby.
Psychology has a theory called"Interpersonal relationship analysis"One of the most basic needs of people, which have been mentioned in the"Comfort"In fact, it can be related to the survival of the people. There is an orphanage in Romania, inside the food and clothing are very adequate, but no one pays attention to them, touch them. As a result, where the infant mortality rate is very high.
I have seen too many children crying, while others were robbed of the scene, the baby will take a long time to recover.
No one has successfully from my hand, the other people do not want to hold the baby to grab the past. Instead, I will hold the baby more tight, or a direct kiss his little face said: "you do not want other people to hold on to my mother hold you!" Scenes to calm down and speak to him I will whisper what just happened something that adults want to hold him is because they like him.
From small to large, I explained to him, he later slightly larger some expressed their views, often slightly mature to want to hold him, said: "now I don't want to be someone else hold, and think of me, I find you ah!"
Because he gave him enough to embrace, under normal circumstances, he can communicate with other people very good, to express their views, has been derived from the respect of adults.
After the remedy: find the opportunity to explain and reaffirm the position
In front of it, we refuse to others, most of the time because they do not want to be disappointed, do not want to offend people. Under normal circumstances, I willExplain the reason why I did this to the related people.At the same time, the expression will not be so angry at someone. Under normal circumstances, the other party can be a good understanding of.
In addition, deeds can once again stand:The most afraid of is your position often change, others do not know how to do is right. Try from A to Z adhere to their principles, what is yes, what is no, quite distinct from each other.
Because I have always been very clear attitude, long down, the family can feel this way to the baby is correct, so the whole family can stand on a unified front.
We often say that she could not bear to beat the baby, but similar cold violence is often staged. Although sometimes he is not the protagonist of the implementation of the cold violence, but also by consent to other people's behavior, virtually let the baby even worse"!
Try to give your baby a sense of security in the present, through the expression of the language and the behavior of the contact.After the event and then find the opportunity to communicate with the relevant people, to explain their reasons, to establish their own consistent position. Over time, we will know how to get along with you and your baby.
In my opinion, even if the other side does not understand it does not matter,The most important is to let the baby feel that no matter what the mother, will take care of him!
Gigi bestie, slow growth platform exclusive guest author parenting. Internet operations director, expert in popularity, knowledge management. Love reading, love running, love to share, within 8 hours, with the same wonderful fullness of life.
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