How to do children trapped in fear of different ages have different ways to overcome2016-07-22 22:49:27 394 ℃
Growth is a process of fear of gradual reduction, but there are also some children trapped in fear. There is a way to overcome the fear of the various ages and how to help parents to help children's guidance.
Penney Dawson's two year old birthday party at the beginning of a very smooth, there is cake, games, candy, is a typical celebration. Everything seemed normal until the party guests took the balloon. "He began to scream", his mother, from Ontario Hanmer Susanne recalls: "we thought he was kidding".
But this is not a joke. Penney said her son was "scared to death" in the next two and a half years ". Whenever, as soon as he saw the inflatable balloon, "he would run away, screaming and crying". If there is a party to invite him, his parents have to ask people to hide the balloon.
This extreme behavior will make parents feel confused, they do not know what is the problem in the end. "We all have something to fear," said Symons Doug, a clinical psychologist at the Acadia University in Wolf, Canada. When those feelings of fear are too strong to interfere with your normal life, we call them fear ". One in every 30 children has some kind of phobia that is in line with the official diagnostic criteria. Fear of disease will last - not only one or two days, but will last for several months - and their threat will exist in some activities, such as playing, going to the park, or going shopping.
Fear is likely to occur at any age. Some will last a long time: a lot of fear of spiders in their children in 30 years will also be in the form of a spider.
There is an evolutionary explanation for the intense fear of many species. This explains that children who have had a fear of prehistoric times on large animals, deep water, or snakes are more likely to have a greater chance of survival than those who are not afraid of them. Other fears are derived from their own. Penney Dawson, for example, just before he began to fear the balloon, he let a helium balloon slip through his hands. Just witnessing an experience can trigger a phobia. My seven year old daughter started to have a deep fear of the elevator because he saw a group of people trapped in an elevator at the mall.
Fear of disease also comes from family. Like the genetic link, those who have fear of the child, there are often one or two will be no reason to feel terrible things parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and other relatives. Montreal Children's Hospital Anxiety and the director of the clinic, child psychologist Klaus minde mentioned or they just see the they bother parents to something produced responses to terrorism and simply copy the reaction.
No matter what caused your child's panic, parents can refer to the following ways to help your children of different ages.
Preschool children (4 to 5 years old)
Babies don't usually show fear. But in the very small children may appear some division of fear, as Dawson Penney mother observed that, if the fear continues, then to the preschool age group, it is likely to develop a phobia. When the child was four or five years old, they will cry, because they fear. These are typical responses to fear.
Toronto's Laurin Nadia found that the need to pay particular attention to the safety of the child of this age. Her daughter, Grace, had been bitten by a dog at the age of three. After that, Grace became very scared of dogs. After a year, one time, there was a dog near her, her daughter screamed and ran away. At that time, Laurin and two other children need to take care of, she has no way to chase Grace, can only ask the neighbors to come out to help.
Do not do: Symons said that parents inadvertently will strengthen the child's fear of disease, such as trying to avoid the terrorist situation, or when the child was crying with extreme attention. These practices do not allow children to ease the panic. When she's worried, "you need to comfort her, but don't be so considerate". And, remember, don't force the child to get in touch with something that makes her horrible.
How to do: try to introduce and explain what she is afraid of in the absence of stress. Laurin to Grace to see a lot of books on the dog's picture. "We also went to the pet shop to see the dog, because there is very safe," she said, those dogs are in the back of the glass. These small strategies are really effective. This process is called desensitization and is often used in professional guidance. Symons said: "the process of teaching the children in the face of fear and try to relax, your fear control."
School age children (6 to 10 years old)
The children of this age in the face of fear when possible or cry or frozen, or into the arms of my parents. They will acknowledge the fear, Minde said: "generally speaking, when you are in the school age, what happened, you will talk to your parents".
Turton Keith, a community educator at the Canadian Mental Health Center in Edmonton, points out that when a school age child shows a fear of something, he is likely to be laughed at by his classmates. If a child has a fear of other children can not understand the psychological (such as fear of the ball), the break may be fun to be fun. That's why I encourage the early treatment of this type of problem." Turton says.
Don't do this: don't go to the kids and repeat, "that won't hurt you". Minde says it's enough to explain a few times. Said a three or four time on it, too much emphasis on harmless will make people pay more attention to the possible damage. I told my daughter that she was trapped in an elevator and was rarely in the room, and she explained to her the safety device." Minde advises people not to focus on what you fear. You can guide your child to focus on other areas of your life that are more important and more beautiful.
How to do: to transfer the child's fear, for example, some sharks, the lion's story, put their fears into the scene. If the guide well, children of snakes, the picture may feel documentary not afraid but interesting. Parents can explain to them that snakes are needed to eat, and what they need to do to catch their prey.
In practice, Minde try to let the children put themselves in a correct attitude, challenge those who let their thoughts of fear. For example, kick the ass. One of his little patients would say to the fear in the heart: "you have the wrong number!" And another little boy just let the good idea into the brain, let "bad idea" from the left ear fly out.
Parents of teenagers need to increase the sensitivity of a detective. "Young children may hide their fears." Minde says. When you find that you deliberately avoid a situation, you should be on your guard. For example, he might pretend that he is not interested in swimming. But in fact he might be afraid that he would drown. For the purposes of this age, some such as mere fear of heights and the like is not a big problem, because they allow them to avoid this kind of thing is very easy, but like anxiety or fear of more complex social fear this will affect the child's school and social life. No matter how strong they are, the children of this age may not be talking to you.
Don't do it: don't assume that your child is older, she has the ability to overcome the fear in her heart. Turton is sorry to mention, usually the children are still small parents to seek help. "We always assume that the older kids are strong, they are big, and they are going to be okay. But even teenagers, may not realize their own experience is not normal. They may bear it in silence."
What to do: sit down and talk with your child and tell him what you have observed. Encourage him to tell his fears, to let him open his heart.
Support your child and see if he needs to seek professional help. But at this age, you don't need to directly interfere with their treatment. The best thing you can do is to send them to the consultants and wait outside the door.
Tips when you need to seek professional help
Turton Keith, a community educator in the Canadian Mental Health Center, said: "children are afraid of something that seems normal, and many parents won't be looking for help. This will let the child has been affected by fear."
When needs to seek the doctor's help? "Children's lives are affected." Symons Doug, a clinical psychologist at the Acadia University, recommended. Fear of the tiger may not affect the child's life, but if there is a serious fear of injections, then after the doctor will become very troublesome.
Parents can also call the local mental health agencies. Typical treatment may include counseling and behavior modification skills, and rarely require medication.
Of course, the family's help will be very effective. Penney Susanne uses a little way of her own invention to help her son to remove the fear of the balloon. At first she gave him a flat balloon for him to play with. "We promised him we wouldn't inflate it, and he played for a while." A few weeks later, she and her husband were gradually filling up the balloon and playing around with her son. She was amazed at the way she really works: "it took a while, but when it was full, he wouldn't be scared."".
Turton said that this adjustment process is also commonly used in mental health doctors: if parents have the will also have the confidence to do so, slowly, do not urge the child to change, the effect will be very good." However, he warned parents: "if the child appears to be afraid, to start to avoid, then continue to force to do this thing will increase the symptoms." Symons added. If you want to relax, then go to encourage the child, tell him to face the fear of this is very brave, but do not let him think is his escape caused your praise.
Although fear may be very difficult to wear, remember that it brings more difficulties to your children than they do to you. "I would be annoyed at Grace's behavior," said Laurin Nadia, a mother in Toronto, when she said she was afraid of the dog's daughter. "But I can't make her feel that she's doing something wrong. To know that she doesn't know what's going on. She's just a child of fear ".
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