"If it weren't for me, my mother wouldn't be beaten" | Knowledge Base

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"If it weren't for me, my mother wouldn't be beaten" | Knowledge Base

2018-12-28 10:25:05 205 ℃

Illustrator: 麦吱

Family relationship violence

The protagonist is a child who has suffered corporal punishment from his father and witnessed domestic violence between parents (ie domestic violence) Witnessed, after adulthood, she felt deeply guilty for her young and unintentional conspiracy with her father.

However, this is not her fault. Like her mother, she is an innocent victim. How can an innocent little girl rebel against the father of "high authority"?

When the "Supreme" father had no reflection on his behavior and used his fist to solve all "problems", a mother who felt that it was difficult to get out of violence was born, and the protagonist consciously carried it up. The cross, I think that my mother’s experience of violence is my fault.

In the field of domestic violence, researchers have found that violence has a profound impact on children. The more parents are subjected to domestic violence against their children, the more likely their children are to have emotional problems.

On the other hand, children who have not experienced violence themselves, after witnessing the conflict between parents, more likely to have neurotic behavior problems (such as for many People and things are ignoring attitudes, but they are eager to be recognized/concerned); and those who have experienced violence themselves, after witnessing conflicts between parents, are more likely to have discrimination or anti-social Sexual behavior.

Overall, whether or not you have been subjected to violence, as long as you witness conflicts between parents, may have a negative impact on children's behavior.

The specific performance is as follows:

1. Physiological aspects: headache, stomach pain, easy fatigue, poor resistance, inattention, picky eaters or addictive diet problems, stunting, Including intelligence, language or physical development.

2. Psychological aspects: low self-worth, inferiority, self-blame, guilt, shame, helplessness, hostility and hatred towards the perpetrator, and mental illness, such as anxiety.

3. Emotional aspects: depression, fear, severe separation anxiety, panic, anger, crying.

4. Behavioral aspects: degraded behavior such as bedwetting, sucking fingers, nightmares, over-expression, violent resolution or expression, destructive behavior, self-harm, escape from school, etc.

5. Others: poor interpersonal relationships, low academic achievement or unusual work, too precocious.

Intergenerational transmission of violence

The study found that severe physical violence in adult males is closely related to childhood abuse, just as the theory of intergenerational transmission of violence The same is pointed out:

People who grow up in violent families can pass violence directly to the next generation through learned behavior, thus forming a loop of violence regeneration .

People who have experienced and experienced violence may have witnessed violence between their parents during their childhood or have been subjected to violence by other family members, especially their parents. However, blindly emphasizing intergenerational transmission will also neglect the initiative and initiative of each individual to change the status quo.

In 2013, Associate Professor Wang Yuying, associate professor of the School of Social Development and Public Policy at Beijing Normal University, and his colleagues compared ten abused men and ten gender-equal men, and presented an interesting Question:

Although they have had similar experiences of witnessing domestic violence and corporal punishment when they were young, why do some people repeat the same mistakes and become violent men? Some people can see the clouds and start a new path?

They found out how these men’s perceptions of past experiences of violence have a direct-directed effect on their current behavior:

If they think that violence is a parent’s eagerness, no They can’t be a talented husband and father;

If they recognize the dangers of father’s behavior, they are determined to do something completely different A new man, he is likely to become a gender-equal male, and embark on a different path.

How can I help my family to get out of the shadows?

First, establish a harmonious relationship between husband and wife to create a warm family atmosphere.

As parents, they should intentionally create a good living environment and development space for children, and actively avoid risk factors, such as avoiding quarrels in front of children; at the same time, parents should pay attention to all aspects of child development, especially It is a relatively hidden aspect of emotional changes.

Secondly, schools should pay attention to and work hard on students' psychological diagnosis and counseling.

The school teacher should actively understand and report on the students who have abnormal reactions and introverted personality. The school should have detailed student files, keep it dynamic, and establish close cooperation with parents.

If a child discovers that a child has witnessed or is experiencing violence, he or she should report it to the relevant department according to law.