Why can't your child?Education experts: parents are not fun, have to play with mobile phones2021-11-25 00:01:25 15 ℃
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Can't let go of your mobile phone, don't go out, don't talk, don't go to school, mother wants to cry! Education experts: parents are not fun, have to play with mobile phones
Can't put down the child, the lesson is painful
The 17-year-old high school boy, the classroom is sleepy, mixed into school every day, the exam is always the first; if you return home, pick up your phone is not put, don't give it to your mobile phone, you don't eat it; you don't go out, nor Others speak; the high school semester begins, after being criticized by the teacher, I will never go to school. The mother's mother is facing the tears every day, and it is uncomfortable.
The 14-year-old girl is always secretly playing mobile phones. Even if the job is allowed to play for half an hour after completion of the job, but it is only to stop the child's secrets of playing mobile phones in their room.
The fourth-year-old second-year little boys, playing games in the holidays, recharged by more than 6,000 yuan, and kicked 3 meters by Dad.
I am often embarrassed by my friends, often awkward, because it is similar to the "child playing with mobile phone", it is too much lesson!
I don't know when, the mobile phone almost became the "natural enemy", "big enemy" and "fire anti-theft anti-child play mobile phone", became the main line of the father and mother.
So, from the time to contact the mobile phone, pay attention to the movement of the child in the room every day, one day, but found that the control can't live, so I saw the child and hurt the mobile phone and rude, and finally thoroughly Confiscation of children's mobile phones, children and parents have burstful conflict ...
The development of things can be foreseen: When the child is small, the authority of adults can only be placed, but after entering the youth, the child will go to fight and break from silence, and even leave home.
At this point, the parent-child relationship failed, the family education failed, the future direction of the child, also facing the big risk!
Expert: Parents are not fun, I have to play with mobile phones.
Parents are very painful, "I have a good heart for you, why will it become like this?"
In fact, the children play mobile phones are only a representation, and the child is behind the interested needs of the mobile phone. It must have other needs and expectations that they have not been valued, not satisfied.
The problem is that parents can reflect, the children play the true idea behind the mobile phone?
Family education and psychology experts have studied the motivation behind their mobile phones. I found that the children's general psychological state is loneliness, boring, depressed; there are four kinds of children's ideas:
Parents always feel bad: Mom I jeat me every day, I always feel that I am not good, I can only be accepted by everyone, I am playing with others, feeling others;
Adults can watch mobile phones, why can't I? Mom, Mom, Mom, can watch the mobile phone, a game, a brush, nor talking to me, I have finished my homework, I don't play mobile phone, I am sitting there like a fool;
I don't want to: my parents only have learning and score, I am in their eyes, I don't know what I want, what I need, I am just their face;
Don't I have a little time? I have already worked hard, you can't see it, I will stare at me for a while, I still have a little free and entertainment time?
The expectations and desire behind these ideas are: don't always be embarrassed; I hope my parents will be more accompanying; I hope I have a good connection between my parents! The child is eager to pay attention, being affirmed, and is unconditionally received by the parents.
Experts pointed out that such children, vitality is characterized by low value, low safety, low connection skills, low independence ability, low love and love; and children's self-recognition is: You are not by parents, Children who let parents disappoint.
Therefore, in the final analysis, the cause of the children play mobile phones is not because the mobile phone is fun, but the parents are not fun.
For the child, the most intimate is parents, the most concerned about the favorite, should be parents, in this world's best friend should be their parents. However, parents are very busy, there is no time to pay attention to the growth of the child, in addition to providing their own eating and warm, learning, everything else, but almost let go of the child, or handed over various training courses outside the school .
In such a family, the child's existence and value are seriously damaged, so the mobile phone will become his only friend.
Expert suggestion: Parents want "I only have you in my eyes", all are the advantages!
What should I do after finding the root of the problem?
Experts pointed out that parents need to reflect, parents must correct themselves, in order to pull their children back from mobile phone, let go of their mobile phones, and re-ignite the enthusiasm of reading and learning.
1. Accompanied by children:
The role of companion is irreplaceable. It is a key way and way of your parents to express love.
Psychological experts suggest that parents should give their children a 20-minute companion a day; with the growth of children, the accompanying time is extended, the primary school period may take longer.
Accompany your child, take a book with your child, talk to your child, watch TV with your child, play with your child, through companion, let your child feel your parents "My eyes is only you".
Of course, what should I do if I have a long time to work in the field?
In fact, this kind of parent ignores the way we contained a thousand years of love, that is, letters. China has said a book since ancient times, in fact, in today's information, the fast food style of thousands of times, a letter outside the father, maybe more words, thousands of words on WeChat, there is more penetration force. 2, encourage, motivation:
Although Yu Minhong is a taught the training of the training, he is profound about the understanding of education. Yu Minhong believes that education is igniting, waking up, encouraging, motivating, doing these, 90% of the goals can be achieved.
In fact, parents can give themselves, every day to discover and find out the three advantages of the child, and give timely affirmation and encouragement, let the children find that they are not a place, find the value of the value, re-understand the existence of self .
Of course, there is a parent that it doesn't find the advantage of the child, that is, the parent's problem. The advantage is not necessarily that the result can be a process, which can be the spirit of effort, which can be an idea.
For example, a old teacher who taught many years, the old principal said: Children don't like to learn, do not understand, but still go to school on time, go into the class, go to the classroom, English, English , Physical class, this kind of understanding is also listening to every day, is a persistence that is not knocked down, is a spirit of not giving up, this is the greatest advantage.
Then, the child is awkward every day, but also holds a mobile phone every day. Is this also a persistence? Adhere to your needs? This persistence spirit is also the advantage.
3, play with your child:
Does the child think that the parents are not fun? Then play with your child.
For example, children are obsessed with mobile phones, do he like to play mobile games or watch a small video on your phone? Do you like to watch the novels on your mobile phone, or chase, chase idols? Parents first figure out these, then you can first chat, talk about the topic of your child, causing a common interest point, and draw a distance.
Of course, parents should also do what they have to do. In the family, they must establish a learning atmosphere. For example, there must be a certain collection, parents will read with their children; parents should also exercise with their children, such as playing, running; or even, parents can also Get a game with your child and feel the fun of your child.
In fact, parents do this, you will find that you have become a child's friend, the child will no longer resist, and began to accept the parents' suggestions.
A teacher engaged in many years of education and family education guidance said that as long as children are not serious to severe depression or psychological problems (this requires professional psychotherapy involvement), parents have accompanied, encourage, and children. Be a friend, basically enough to solve the child's self-reliance on the mobile phone, awaken the child's self, and re-ignite the enthusiasm of learning.
Tracing the source, we find that to solve the children play phone, everything from start to restore parent-child relationship. But this, although extremely simple, but it is the moment of countless parents in family education are lacking.
Behind every problem child, the parents have a problem with this, almost absolutely correct.
Change the child, he started from the change.
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