Every day, the most interesting, most practical psychology

Everyone will experience many different stages during the growth process, which is easy to foresee, but their psychological giants are inherently hidden, unpredictable.

The two most important stages are infant and adolescents. This also needs to spend more energy as a parent, we can spend more energy in these two stages of child growth, grasp the key period, let the child can continue according to the original plan. Development.

Infant period heart characteristics

Children in infants and young children are mainly self-centered, from their own perspective, do not turn around, and cannot stand in the perspective of others.

This is mainly a common character of the child, and this time no matter what you said, the child will not go to see the problem in your perspective, so it is possible to get the psychology of the child from the actual situation. Education.

Children in the adolescence stage, universal impulsive, easy to act, no consequences, often produce rebellious ideas, the teachings of parents, will also have anti-negative psychology, conflict with their parents, even colligers, make harm parents the behavior of.

Neuropsychography shows that this is because some advanced features of our cerebral cortex will gradually improve in adolescence, but its functionality has a certain degree of difference than adults, such as the adjustment of self-cognition and emotion. And self-control capacity is less stable than adults.

This is not difficult to understand, why now the children who are in the early high school stage are often called "problems students", and the social campus violence and high school hopping event are frequent, all the children are at this stage. Self-emotional control and venting methods have a deviation.

In addition to in the campus, these children also make their parents feel particularly headaches, and children are inaccurate to self-cognition, regard their development as adults.

It is believed that parents are people who control their own, limit their freedom, and began to enclose their hearts, do not want to communicate with their parents, and both sides have become the closest "strangers" under the same roof.

A reasonable way of parent-child communication

In fact, in the face of this situation, look at you from the psychological level, as your parents, if you say, the more children will not listen, the ten eight nine is because you said these two sentences.

The first sentence is: "I can understand your current feelings ..." It brings only the children think that you are with him, and it is also what he thinks, and you can teach him some of you after this. Think about better solving experience

The second sentence is: "Do you want to try this method," this sentence to close the parents and children, becomes a partner that can discuss problems, communicate with communication, let the parents take the identity of Yi Yousi Communicate with the children, establish a harmonious relationship, why

From the purpose of the two sentences, the parents have given some suggestions to their children, thus achieving the results expected by parents, but these two sentences are moderate, not tough and disclosed, with some discussion tips, let Children can feel that you have some respect for his own opinions.

It is believed that you are in an equal position to discuss problems, rather than I think, don't think, will not let the children cater psychology, but will make it easier to accept.

The adolescent children have the needs of "self-identity". They are eager to find true self, not being bound by others, do everything possible to do things according to their wishes and ideas, just like Ericson's life phase What mentioned is mentioned.

In this period, if parents can't fully understand them, they always keep their authority, when they arrange their lives, they will feel challenged in the process of pursuing themselves. It will become a way to fight against parents' behavior.

In contrast, if parental can understand them, and to see this phenomenon with the perspective of promoting development, try to communicate with them with them, and it will be better.

They will also integrate their suggestions into the alternatives of their own solutions to solve the problem, and more easily accept, which will create a better parent-child atmosphere, and family relationship will not tend to be nervous.

So if the next time there is a problem, don't criticize your child, don't be a parent who only hespently gets yourself.

To learn to reflect on yourself, learn to let children say, you can add, discuss together, so that both sides can satisfy, although it may not be a standard answer, but we are trying to work together, it is also a life. The method of being able to do in the world is to form in the communication between usual life.

In life, parents and children will not communicate very common, then when we encounter it, we must first keep calm, calm, and stand in the child's position to see the nature of the problem.

And communicate with a good discourage, let the children feel that their own ideas can be included and accepted by parents, rather than they are in the emotion of negative communication.

As a parent of parents, more patience and methods are needed, and they guide children to actively express themselves to truly communicate with their parents.

- the end - author | Tommy

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First psychological main pen group | a group of young people who like looking up at the stars

References: Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: self-other Difference in evatatern Of Showing Vulnerability. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 115 (2), 192-205