After 8 years, I wanted to pass this matter.2022-01-21 06:07:12 47 ℃
Potato said: As everyone knows, the second binaural road is a pit, and I have given you the pit that I am placed in the combination of the brothers and sisters.
But today, give you a fresh, by the second mother @ 小小 子 座, share the story of the two-child relationship, see if you have a trick
I was very happy to be very happy for a few days ago, but my sister is because a learning machine quarrel.
After the learning machine is a sister, after entering junior high school, in order to facilitate her to learn to buy. Usually she is not used, the younger brother will take a look at the small video of the science lesson.
In the evening, the younger brother is watching the video, my sister is going to sleep, I have to take the learning machine because she is used to order alarm clock with learning.
The younger brother is not willing, repeatedly emphasized with my sister, the learning machine is used to learn, she has a alarm clock.
And my sister believes that the study machine is bought to her, she wants how to use it is her right.
I can't look at the two children, I can only act as a one and matter.
Discover your sister, tomorrow is the weekend, you don't have to get up early, if you really want to get up early, I can be a "human meat alarm clock", specializing in her.
Listen to me, my sister said very angry: "You are eccentric, the learning machine gives him, don't give me."
I am patiently told her: "If you are using a learning machine now, how do you get a trip to watch the video, I won't give him, the key question is, you don't have to use it now, just take it as alarm."
No matter how I explain and persuade, my sister is not willing to return to my room.
After a while, she couldn't stand, squatting in the bed, I asked her to go back, but when she threatened the brother to give her a learning machine, she only went.
At that time, just chatting with colleagues, I said this.
She said: "I have already felt that your family, lifting your sister's position too high, and your brother is pressed too pitiful."
I have to admit that I have to admit it to the stubborn, I have to admit that in our home is indeed a "sister's strength weak".
In other people, it may be a "bigger, hurt" state, but in our home, it is just the contrary, I and my husband is more important than your brother.
As soon as I have seen some parenting books, parenting experts and psychologists suggest that parents have to pay more attention to Dabao's inner demand after they have two children.
In the second, the second treasure is short-year, and the child dad tested to the field work. In the days of "one drag two", the first grade sister learned to have a scorpion, after eating, take the initiative to take the dishwashing, and will help stack clothes . Will help me take care of your brother. This also makes me extraordinarily distressed my sister and wants to give her more love.
Moreover, I grew up in the environment of heavy men, as a sister, I was asked to make your brother from a child. So when I became a mother, I resolutely not allow this situation to happen on my child.
So, whenever the brothers have contradictory, I will pretend toward my sister, and tell him that I have to hurt my sister. When you are small, my sister pays a lot.
This thought that this better balanced the relationship between the brothers and brothers, will not let the sister have, I have to make your brother's idea. I don't want the second treasure to think that I have reason.
It can gradually I found a little less right, the relationship between the brothers and brothers, not only did not have the so-called balance, the relationship between my sister and your brother was simply rolling.
Of course, it is a sister to crush your brother.
In front of your brother, my sister is like a proud queen, talking to your brother, has always been ordered, there is no good words, and it is all call name.
Things to eat, drink, do things, basically all, even, even the sister's one. But she is sometimes a brother's thing, must give it, don't give it.
Once, the younger brother fell in kindergarten, the teacher gave him a lollipop, he coughed, put it back in the bag, come back to show off, say that he has a "乖" lollipop.
After my sister came out, I saw the lollipop on the coffee table, and I didn't say it. The younger brother saw the sister to eat the lollipop, collapsed, said it is his own prize.
Sister disdain: "What is big, isn't it a lollipop? You can't eat it, I will help you eat. Waiting for you to cough, I will buy 3 lollips."
On the brother, I said: "I don't want, I just as long as my own lollipop ..."
I comforted the second treasure: "You can't eat it, wait for you to cough, let your sister buy you."
Unexpectedly, the second treasure was very angry, and strive to push it to say: "I hate you, hate my father, you only love my sister, I hate my sister."
Originally, I didn't want to let Dabao suffered from the arrival of the second treasure. But I caught my head, but I was caught in the end. I didn't fall.
The sister has hegemony, the younger brother also feels that the mother is eccentric.
I found a girlfriend, and the two of our two have been more familiar with two women.
The girlfriend told me this:
I know that your originality may be thinking, give Dabao more preferred to make up, because the arrival of the second treasure is not as good as the psychological drop in my sister before.
This idea is not wrong, but your approach is getting off.
In order to take care of Dabao, in daily life, it is not divided into big treasures to the wrong place. This will bring some security to Dabao, think that Mom and Dad are preferred her, but will give Dabao a wrong. Psychological hint.
No matter whether it is wrong, as long as Mom and Dad don't stand on her, it is eccentric, don't love her. This is why you understand and explain it clearly, and there is still a learning machine in her, but it still doesn't want your brother to hold.
Worse, the younger brother will feel that you are eccentric, this is also a kind of harm to your brother.
I suddenly woke me up, it seems to be this truth.
This time, although I am talking about it, I am not standing like it is like it is like it, but the brother, her reaction is more intense.
American Education Dr., outstanding psychologist, educational home Jie Nelson pointed out: "To treat two children as equally, it will not let a child form" victim "mentality, and the other will not form" bullying "psychology . Important is not what you did, but your gesture. "
In the second child, we need to pay more attention to Dabao, but it is not based on the babies.
Method, method is important.
I know the problem, I started looking for a variety of flipping materials. Until I saw the "diagram of rebellion children" has such a sentence:
"The real fair is not a colleagues, but it needs you to meet the different needs of different children."
I suddenly realized.
What is the competition of the second child?
The surface is watching something as many as each other. But think about it, not.
Because two people are different, even gender is different. It is different from things and needs.
They are competing for their parents' love, and they have a unique position in Mom and Dad.
A bowl of water, two thirsty people, half a person is very fair, but it may not allow the two to thirst.
A person who loves, two desires, every child feels full love, this is the best fair.
After this, I started to have a targeted place to two bars, so that they both felt my love.
1) Unique parent-child time
No matter how many children need moms and love.
I remember the message of a 16-year-old girl under the following 16-year-old girl under the next time.
She is a big treasure at home. She said, although she is 16 years old, but still is very eager to have an exclusive time with my mother.
This child's message is deeply touched me.
So I also secretly determined that every time I will give each child a different time, I will fix it into a ceremony.
The younger brother is still young, before going to bed at night, I will tell the brother, sleep with him, this is the exclusive time with your brother.
And my sister is a junior high school student, usually the premium pressure is high, most of the time is a school and home.
So I try to take a long time and I like the bookstore for a long time, then, I will eat a snack, drink a cup of milk tea, or take a movie that she likes her like.
Given the brothers and brothers, let them feel the exclusive love, my sister is no longer hanging on the mouth, and the brother is no longer said, "This is my mother, not your" words. Oral Zen.
2) Unique given
Before, I always strive to do fairness in terms of material, the younger brother's bicycle is small, need to change one. In the principle of a bowl of water, I bought a slider for my sister.
I will later find that although the child got a gift, but because it is not my favor, most of them are idle, just like it to buy back to the sister, I have been on the balcony.
Don't say it first, do you really let your child feel the same, just say this, this is not a waste.
The most important thing is that even if you try to meet one person, they are still "the things of others are the best", or they will fight for the holiday.
Therefore, I will no longer pursue fairness, but according to the real needs of the child, a unique given.
On the weekend, go to the bookstore, buy a good supplement to your brother, my sister said that she also wants to buy a book, I will take a star magazine.
I said, your brother bought a learning information. If you need me to buy it, but if you bought it, you must buy it, I will not agree.
Sister school engaged in food festival, I need to do some food, my brother is very envious. I told him that their school needs, my mother will do.
3) Improper referee, improper and matters
David Frost said: "When you only have a child, you are a parent. When you have two children, you are a referee."
However, we sometimes be too much care about your referee.
When the child is fighting, I will quickly stop, I'm going to the review, I have to disconnect a black and white. The more it is, the more it is more convenient to intervene.
When they have contradictions, they are just in the emotion, they don't care who is wrong, you don't care about anyone who is wrong, it is eccentric.
So, later, when the brothers have a contradiction, my sister asked me how to see this question, I told her, I took the bench.
Instead, there is no adult "to help the moment", when two people have contradictory, my sister is not so "bullying" younger brother, two people have business, and it can handle one thing.
Mom loves children, but there is no suitable method for many times. Less our mother's mother has a love, but the child can't feel.
In fact, I want children to feel that love and security is not so complicated, and I have a real demand for children and respond. These methods that may be shared, you will feel that when your parents are really tired, they have to consider so much consideration. But when you really do it, you will find that we have a lot of gains.
Just like I am a separate parent-child time with my sister, I don't have two dolls, and my sister is alone, it is a bit like a little girl.
Moreover, her words are much more than usual, and I will share some topics that she will not actively say. Who is more handsome than, who is very good ... Who is very good?
The relationship with the child is getting better and better, but also makes me have an unprecedented satisfaction, the fucking happiness.
It is not easy to raise this road, but it is a lot of happiness.
It's not terrible to step on the pit, it is good to adjust, after all, everyone is a flesh, how can you have an face?
Like today's article? Everyone gives me a little bit like it + again.
Hello, I am Li Singer, 4-year-old daughter tomato, 9-year-old son's potato's Ma Ma, good at the daily use of bickeys and text recorded two chickens, sharing hard-learning resources and trustworthy, with deep parenting .
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