Don't be in the age of this rule, be friends with your children | Professor Zhu Yongxin 10 o'clock family education experience2022-05-14 18:13:29 7 ℃
Primary school Chinese master
In the vast book of the sea, you can find effective resources that are more suitable for your growth and text that enters the soul. Hurry up with high people, learn easily, and leave time to more important people and more important things.
In recent years, family education has a very popular saying:
Parents should give their children love and freedom, give their children's space and rights; the best way to educate the child should be friends with their children.
But is it really suitable for parents to be friends with children? Professor Zhu Yongxin put forward 10 suggestions for family education. Let's take a look together ~
Being friends with children should be based on the rules
Parents must first do their parents' duties, and second, they are children's friends.
We can pursue friends who are children, but we must be based on the rules.
Rules and sense of boundaries are to be cultivated by parents to help their children. Otherwise, children will become more and more unparalleled!
Everyone must have a regular consciousness, which is the rule of survival.
The bear children are used to their parents' coquettishness
A few times, Xiaoen accompanied his friends to see the house. The landlord was a mother and a little boy about 5 or 6 years old.
During the house, the little boy had been entangled with his mother to play with his mobile phone.
Because the landlord was not replying to the child as soon as possible with the house with us.
The child slaps his mother directly, and he is very angry: "Give me me, you give me! I heard!"
In a few words, her stomach, waist, and back were hit by the child a few times.
At that time, I was thinking: Why did this mother allow the child to talk to her in such a disrespect and treat her with such rude behavior.
In order to achieve their own purposes, they can barely disturb their parents' conversations, and punch and kick fiercely. This is a disrespect for parents!
Parents and children must have a sense of boundaries, that is, do their own things on their own borders. Keeping the parent boundary and helping children establish a sense of rules, this is the biggest responsibility for children's future.
If we only emphasize friends -style education and neglected the discipline of children, the result is to create a person who does not respect authority, no rules, no education, and selfishness.
Such children will be hit in school and workplace in the future.
Make your child awe you, what your parents should do
The so -called respect is that the child is willing to listen to your teachings, that is, the fear of respect.
There is no doubt that it is a very high demand for parents.
Establishing an unable to trample on parents for children is the basic skills of education.
And this kind of parental authority comes from the shaping of bites in life.
Rules need elasticity
For example: the same thing, the child can't touch it when he was a child. However, after being larger, the danger does not exist. Naturally, these rules can be adjusted without having to change.
Therefore, when we set the rules with our children, we can use "you can do ..., but you have to wait ... then ...".
In this way, it also helps children to learn to delay waiting.
The elasticity of the rules is also manifested in the formulation of the rules with the children, allowing reason to be integrated.
Determine simple rules
Simply set a simple rule and draw a place where children cannot enter, such as kitchen; this is convenient for parents to perform discipline, but also make the baby easy to follow.
The rules should be used with positive words, such as: after eating, you can leave the seat.
Only 2-5 rules need to be fixed to meet the age and ability of the child;
Everyone who takes care of the baby must be implemented together.
Some responsibilities must be responsible for their own.
There is such a conversation:
Child: "If I make the pillows flying all over the sky, do you still love me?"
Mom: "I always love you, but you have to pack your feathers."
Child: "If I sprinkle the paintings on my sister, do you still love me?"
Mom: "I always love you, but you have to take a bath for your sister."
The mother in this story is particularly good. She is tirelessly guaranteed that "I will always love you", and at the same time, I don't forget to emphasize: children, you have to be responsible for your behavior. You have to try to recover or make up for it as much as possible, what you do.
Parents cannot help their children escape, but should ask their children to bear the consequences for their wrong words and deeds, so that the child has the integrity and courage to face the wrong.
Of course, respect is mutual.
While children learn to respect their parents, parents should also learn to respect their children.
Children are not the subsidiaries and derivatives of their parents. They have their own independent personality. Parents should respect and understand and guide them instead of authoritative and inclusive.
Only when parents learn to respect their children can children more respect their parents.
In fact, when children respect their parents, parents are easy to review and reflect on their behavior under the influence of their children, and the family will become more and more harmonious.
Parents' words and deeds have an unforgettable impact on their children.
Then set more rules for children, and use more parenting skills, children will not serve you.
If there is any childcare skills in this world.
That's the words and deeds of parents!
If you want to be friends with your children, be a good teacher who is worthy of good teachers.
Liangshi first, Yiyou later.
"In all questions, children can find the reason for their family." "Family education is the basis of our entire education chain, the key" ... Zhu Yongxin's 10 -point experience on family education, teachers and parents to read together to read together Right ~
Respecting children is the starting point of family education
Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler said, "Lucky people have been healed by childhood, and unfortunate people have been healing their childhood throughout their lives."
Now psychological science has found that all the problems in an adult can almost find the answer from his childhood life.
Therefore, childhood influence on a person is very important.
We have not realized many magical and great things about children. How does children know this world and how do children's personality form? We must admit that these issues are not recognized.
Therefore, to a certain extent, due to the unknown of our education objects, many educational errors have been caused. Many education methods have no basis, but it is passed down from generation to generation.
Many education is not based on the real and scientific cognition background of children, of course, sometimes because science itself is not mature.
I think the basic understanding of children, or the correct childliament of children is a starting point for our education and the starting point of our entire family education.
Specifically, how to educate children is a child view, reflected in different parents of different parents and different raising methods and their views on basic issues. There is a problem with the concept and is not worthy of advocating.
Parents should regard children as equal people and people with independent personality. We must consciously aware of: respecting childhood. With a respect for children's current life and respect for children, many of our education methods will naturally change.
Parents help their children to establish self -confidence is the key to family education
Family is the cradle of children's life. It is the first place to be educated after being born. Parents are the first teacher of the child. What parents bring to their children often determine what kind of person child will become.
Human cognitive style, behavior habits, and personality characteristics are formed in childhood.
Family is a preparatory school of the school. You should advocate life education in family education, and attach importance to the cultivation of children's character, personality, morality, and habit.
In addition, as a parent, it is the most critical to help children build self -confidence and help their children find himself.
Parents should be able to understand their children and find their children to accept children. Now many parents are not concerned about their children but children of others. They use other people's children as benchmarks. They like to compare the strengths of other children's children with their own weaknesses. This is painful.
Parents should learn to understand their children accurately, walk along the child's own nature, and assist the child to grow.
The best education is to help children become himself
Today, our parents often use a standard — the standard of Harvard in Tsinghua University to cultivate children.
Most people are the loser with a standard and one mode. This is the manifestation of current social anxiety, and it is a problem with our social evaluation system.
Many people take the prestigious school as a model of success in family, parents, and children, and I think the best education is to help children become himself.
Let your children do what they want to do, learn what they want to learn, let everyone find themselves, and become a better self.
Of course, these are not so easy to evaluate, but a subjective experience.
The lives of those who really have a sense of happiness are not the same. They all have different lives. Therefore, I think the best education is to help people grow up, continue to surpass themselves, and help people live happily. At one point, family education is successful, which is also the purpose of family education.
It is important to accompanying children.
Children come to the family and become a community with you. This is the fate of life. How can you cherish the time with your child?
In fact, we know that when the child really leaves you, it is difficult for you to be with him.
So the time to be together is very limited, and together it is education. I think this is critical, why?
Because you eat with your children and speak together, you are doing communication and learning all the time. Western psychology has a very interesting study. They find that the child's vocabulary and parents communicate with their parents, especially when they communicate on the table. Vocabulary is directly correlated.
You are talking about politics, and this child may be interested in politics in the future; you are complaining that the child may be full of complaints. Everything you happened in your family will have a direct impact on your child.
Why do we say that there must be a parent -child reading and fully communicate between parent -child? Many of our parents thought not to talk to their children. It doesn't make any sense. In fact, everything you say, even if he doesn't understand today, will become an important part of his brain thinking.
What's more important is to accompany and live together, which will determine whether the entire family has a common destiny. We put forward a proposition: read together, write together, and live together. The tone is to accompany, and the impact of companionship on children is very important.
A family who does not read will never have the seeds of real education reading.
A poem was introduced in "Reading Handbook", "You may have unlimited wealth, a box of jewelry, and gold in a cabinet. But you will never be richer than me. I have a mother who reads me."
Reading is an important source of children with rich spiritual life. The cultivation of reading ability, the cultivation of reading interest, and the cultivation of reading habits start from the family.
For children, reading and education in childhood will never have real education.
After reading these books through these books, he started to like reading. Why is it important for children's early reading? I have always believed that those children's books are indeed different from the books that adults read. Children's Book will contain the best things of human beings in the fate of a character and animals, and build your values.
On the Cornerstone of Excellent Traditional Tutoring Concept
Build a modern tutor building
For thousands of years, traditional tutors have accumulated a valuable wealth in three aspects.
First of all, traditional tutoring, through family rules, family training, family style and other forms to standardize family education and educate children with systems and rituals.
Second, traditional tutor emphasizes virtue first, and is consistent with modern education concepts as the foundation of education. The earliest educational book "University" in China regards Mingde's perfection as the fundamental goal of all education: "The way of university is in Mingmingde, the people are close to the people, and they are in the best."
Third, traditional tutors pay attention to their parents' examples to demonstrate with examples, emphasizing children's behavior training and scientific methods. In teaching, Confucius advocated that "the body is right and do not allow it. The body is not right, although it is not obedient."
However, it is necessary to pay attention to identifying and abandoning the dross that does not conform to the concept of modern education, such as punishment education, and only to clear the poisoning of traditional tutors can we establish a modern family education system.
Mother is the most sacred duty of a woman
Father is the best job for men
Mother is the most sacred position of a woman. Fulu Beier, an important founder of modern early childhood education, once said: "The fate of the people is not so much in the hands of the power, it is better to be held in the mother's hands. Therefore, we, we, we, we You must work hard to inspire your mother -human educator. "
The mother is an irreplaceable role in the process of educating the child, especially in the initial stage of the child's birth. No one can replace the role of the mother.
As a mother, you need to read it as soon as possible, tell stories, cultivate children's reading habits and interests, and at the same time create a harmonious family atmosphere for children.
His father is a perseverance, which means responsibility and responsibility.
To be a good father, it is actually two keywords. One word is "example", and the other is "companion".
I think my father is the most important job of a man. The father does not have such a strong attachment with the child like his mother. The father is more rough and simple. The relationship with his father can make the child learn the courage to face difficulties. The child is more adventurous. Therefore, accompaniment is also a very important responsibility of his father.
Family education is irreversible, but it can change
Most parents have not received scientific training and scientific childcare training, so parents often make mistakes. What should I do if I make a mistake?
We say that family education is irreversible, but it can be changed. The most important thing is from today, starting from today, with better methods, greater enthusiasm, more positive efforts, and more honest attitude to change.
Parents must first change their children to change themselves. You will also be passed on to your children. I think that any change will not be late.
Of course, if the critical period is difficult to change, it needs to make greater efforts.
Therefore, it is also warned that parents need to be able to approach education and understand education when they are young.
Whether education is successful is whether there are good habits
Mr. Ye Shengtao said that education is to cultivate habits, and to measure whether education is successful depends on whether there is a good habit.
Sports is not to see how high jumping, how fast you run, how good you play, depending on whether you have developed good fitness habits. If the sports performance is excellent, but if you eat and drink, you do n’t exercise, and your body is bad. This is not a sports success.
Education is to develop the habit of being curious about this world, constantly learning, and constantly charging themselves, instead of getting 100 points during reading, and not even reading books in the society.
The new education reform has a action called each month. Letting children do one thing every month and cultivate their habits.
For example, learn to eat this month. There are a lot of habits to cultivate in the meal, not just etiquette, but also a lot of things related to habits. For example, learning to walk and walking are also habit. Of course, there are many criticisms behind the habit. We say that we do not run through the red light, which means that we must abide by the rules and abide by the rules is a habit.
Psychological studies have found that a good habit must be trained for 21 consecutive days, and families should help children develop good living habits.
Education not only happens on campus
Life itself is the best education
Through this epidemic, we can deeply understand that education not only happens on campus, but life itself is the best education.
Regardless of whether distance education is carried out through the Internet, or paying more attention to family education, every link can become classrooms.By making good use of these classrooms, not only can children learn more, it is also a kind of progress and growth for teachers and parents.
This time is a rare time for parent -child to be together for 24 hours. I think that knowledge learning is not very urgent. Now it should be based on parent -child activities.Share, watch a movie together, discuss and exchange, and talk about their parents and children, which may be more beneficial to the growth of children.
We particularly encourage our parents and children to choose some phenomena in this epidemic as the theme, such as about virus, gratitude, and drugs, complete a common operation, investigate the information and discuss together, and form a one after the epidemic passes.A small research report.This will not only be an effective thinking training, but also become a precious memory of parents and children.
- In the previous：Feeling in life ...
- The next article：Don't miss it, the correct way to open the love mother
Guess you like
- 2022-05-19My son and neighbors are classmates in the same class. Sure enough, what made me most worried about happening.
- 2022-05-19How exaggerated the weight of pregnancy can be changed?
- 2022-05-16The clothes you wear to your child determine the child’s future life, but unfortunately many parents have not noticed
- 2022-05-16For babies who are more than 11 months old, three meals a day, do it, delicious, nutritious and healthy
- 2022-05-16Children have a blood test after 24 hours of fever?
- 2022-05-15The bear child saw the toy car, and I didn't want to come down. Netizens: This child is quite skinny
- 2022-05-15Xiaowan Growth Diary Vol.1
- 2022-05-15These three types of children in kindergarten are the least pleasing, but the teacher will not say that they will be treated differently
- 2022-05-15Dink, 70, has never suffered from fertility. How did he live in his later years?Happy or lonely
- 2022-05-15These appear during pregnancy!No mother can calm down
- Why is the first four fingers in Gongkou so slow?What is the fetus doing at this time?No wonder then enter the delivery room
- Chongqing Sending Zi Bird Hospital check the tubal tube blockage and care for health
- Who is the handle in the baby goat milk powder and which baby sheep milk powder is trustworthy?
- How to make her husband addicted to bringing a baby and not to extricate themselves?There is only one secret
- Worried that children can't stand frustration?Smart parents do 3 points, the more frustrated the children are
- "3 -year -old bed, 5 -year -old room" pit miserable children!How old is the best age to sleep in bed?
- The child's most hate parental behavior is not to fight, not scolding, but ...
- The child's "golden sleep time period" in the morning, wake the child prematurely, 5 cm tall or less long or less
- These five major habits, women have to be developed in two years before pregnancy, and they are easy to be pregnant with "pregnancy".
- 190 catties of large size supermodels have been out for a long time, and the second child is getting heavier after delivery, but the lower jaw line is still clear