"3 -year -old bed, 5 -year -old room" pit miserable children!How old is the best age to sleep in bed?

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"3 -year -old bed, 5 -year -old room" pit miserable children!How old is the best age to sleep in bed?

2022-05-16 00:06:12 20 ℃

Love Young Science Doctrine


Scientific parenting knowledge

"It's really going to collapse!"

Two days ago, I had an appointment with my girlfriend. I didn't see it for a few days. There were two big dark circles on their faces.

I learned that she was giving her son a house recently, but she was all 5 days after the house was divided, but she couldn't hold it.

"My son didn't sleep well, and I didn't sleep well. I often started crying and crying when I first touched the pillow.

"That's not too late?" I was a little wondering.

"That's not okay! Experts said that after 4 years of age, the room will be scored, and the evening will affect the children's independence. My family is 4 and a half years old. I am still a boy. I am worried about precocious puberty ..."

After listening to the words of my girlfriend, I didn't hold back, and laughed out "噗", which is a harmful expert? Intersection Intersection

If it wasn't for rolling in the parenting pit all year round, I was afraid to panic. Never thought that the room to sleep has become a red line that judges whether the child is independent.

The "expert statement" about children's division of rooms on the Internet is also divergent.

"Three years old and four years old, no room, five -year -old and six -year -old repentance"

"It is dangerous to separate the room with the child more than this age."

So, is there a uniform standard age of room for sleep?

How do you think of the bed and the room to sleep?

The biggest problem with no bed is

Security risks

For most Chinese parents, the child basically sleeps with his mother before the age of 1. One is to facilitate the night milk of the night, and the other is that he can't bear the baby and enjoy the feeling of the baby sleeping around.

But while enjoying this intimacy, children are also facing safety risks.

Adults are often busy during the day, sleeping in the evening, and unstable sleeping positions. The problem of sleeping related to sleep in the same bed with the baby in the age of age is more likely to occur. Wait.

The baby girl who was born in Shenyang was only 37 days old and was suffocated by her father.

According to the doctor responsible for the rescue at the time, "When it was sent, the child's face was green and purple, and his body was all white, his breathing and heartbeat were gone, and he was immediately sent to the rescue room."

Nanjing's eight -month -old big baby boy died in a quilt because he was sleeping.

A 40 -day baby in Hangzhou was pressed by an adult while sleeping, and he died unfortunately.

There are many distressed cases. The British Medical Journal has published a report that analyzed nearly 1,500 suddenly sudden infant death cases. The report showed that babies sleeping on their parents' beds reached 22%.

The American Pediatric Association suggested that before the child is 1 year old, he should sleep in the same room with his parents (in the same room but different beds). Studies have shown that this can significantly reduce the incidence of sudden infant death syndrome.

Sleep in the room, don't be too anxious

Many parenting experts suggest that the 3 -year -old bed and 5 -year -old room will affect the child's independence and psychological health.

Many people support this view, and even sleep independently with children in Europe and the United States, saying that early rooms can exercise their children's independence.

However, Richard Ferber, an American children's sleep expert, found that children will not grow into a lack of security and not independent because of their siblings, or sleeping with their parents for a long time.

On the contrary, some people say that the later you should sleep with your children to sleep later, the better, such a child is more secure.

Some experts said: "Children with caesarean section are lacking security because of their psychological fragility. It is best to sleep in room after 8 years old." (As a mother born in a caesarean section & caesarean section, it is difficult for me to recognize this statement.)

Experts "fairy fight" is the same thing. We are the most clear about our own baby.

In fact, if the various remarks that are encouraged or stopped by "dividing bed/bedroom" have begun to make people anxious, it is better to pay attention to whether the baby is "full" and have a full sense of security? And your husband has seriously affected life because he sleeps with your child?

Put the expert's words aside,

These two issues are more concerned about

Does sleeping in the same bed/ciber affect your baby's sleep?

Let's first understand the truth.

1. Medically, the definition of baby sleeping for a whole night is for 5 hours, not more than 8 hours that people usually think.

2. Adults fall asleep quickly and can enter a deep sleep state immediately; when the baby is sleeping slowly, it needs to enter the sleeping stage with a light sleep state of about 20 minutes under the assistance of his parents.

In addition, each child's temperament is inherently different. Some babies are "always sleepy", while others don't want to sleep.

If you happen to have a baby who loves to sleep and sleep for 5 hours, then congratulations, it is strongly recommended to let the child sleep to a safer independent bed.

But if the baby is strongly required to sleep around you, of course, it is to hug him back.

If you treat babies over 3 years old, you can try to teach them to learn to relax themselves and gradually enter the state of deep sleep.

To put it simply, letting everyone sleep well should be a top priority. As long as it is suitable for children's sleeping habits and can help you sleep well, please try to try it actively regardless of the same bed.

Does the same bed/point bed affect the relationship between husband and wife?

There is a question on Zhihu very hot: "Do you want to sleep with an old centimeter bed in the first year?"

After having a baby, in order to better take care of the children, and to understand the hard work of her husband during the day, they will choose to sleep with the old cenrot house.

But we forgot that the first year after giving birth was the most test of husband and wife feelings.

After having a baby, the woman unconsciously shifted her attention to the child. There was another room in the evening. There was no room for two people. They gradually couldn't talk about it, and changed from husband and wife to "roommate."

Please note that we are not just talking about sex here. Instead, "the child is good" began, ignoring each other.

It is very interesting that even if it is a baby, he will observe and appreciate how parents take care of themselves, while paying attention to how parents take care of each other. Experience the sincere and respectful love between parents, which is more beneficial to the child's long -term physical and mental health.

The premise of loving children and protecting children is that your marriage and family love.

The best time for children to split bed

Before, a mother left a message saying that her daughter was six years old. Should she sleep with her parents, but the child resisted it.

I tried several times, but no exception failed. Every time she promised well, but when she walked to her room, she would temporarily change the hexagram and then go back to me to sleep.

Once I finally coaxed her to fall asleep, but she woke up in the middle of the night and cried and said, "I'm afraid of darkness, it's terrible to sleep alone ..."

In fact, this is exactly that the child is telling the mother that "I'm not ready". The child may be afraid of being dark, afraid of being alone, and fear of all kinds of things he worry about ... At this time, instead of forcing the child to accept it, it is better to let it go.

As Yi Nengjing once said on Weibo, what happened sooner or later, why is it so anxious?

Maybe one day, the child asked himself to sleep, the day you caught off guard.

Ma Yizhen once mentioned on Weibo that after learning that the classmates were sleeping alone, they happily proposed that she had to sleep with her mother and soon used to get used to it.

Children will grow up one day. When they are prepared, they will have enough ability to cope with new conditions and new growth.

And what we have to do is to accompany and wait quietly, and keep ready to let go at all times to let the child go forward.

Some psychologists pointed out: Before the age of 10, it would not be too late to complete a separate room with the child!

Each child is the unique individual in the world. There is no specific bed division and the age limit of the division of rooms that can be suitable for all children. It is often said that "3 years old and 5 years old" is just based on the situation of most children. A proposed age given.

There is no need to pursue those quantified time, instead of bringing anxiety to children, it is better to relax and think about some suitable guidance methods.

Help the child to sleep smoothly

Step 1: Little baby, split bed, stick tightly bed

First of all, we should sleep in bed after the baby is born.

It's just that the baby's small bed should be close to the mother's big bed, so that the baby can feel the mother's smell and temperature when sleeping, and it is also convenient for the mother to take care of the baby at night, which more effectively reduces the occurrence of sudden death syndrome.

Step 2: Dabao, separate bed, open distance from the big bed

If you ca n’t sleep anymore, you can change the children's bed and place a certain distance from the big bed. It is best to reach each other to touch each other.

There are both independent space and perception of each other at any time, and adults and children can sleep more stable.

Step 3: Big child, divide rooms, do not close the door

When the child grows up, and sleeps with the mother in bed, you can consider sleeping for the child to sleep.

However, in the initial stage of the room, mothers can accompany their children to fall asleep before leaving, and both bedrooms should not close the door to let the children know that even if they do not sleep with their parents in a room, the mother will hear his voice at any time. You need to call your mother, and your mother can come immediately.

Step 4: In the end, separate rooms, sleep independently

At this step, it is not far from the work of completely separating the room to sleep alone. Children show that they are more and more adapted to sleep in their room.

Mom can tell the story every night to tell the story, or leave the room after chatting with the child, and turn off the lights.

If the child is unwilling to close the door, he can cleverly tell the child:

"Is it more quiet when you close the door and sleep. Even if you close the door, you call your mother, and your mother can hear it."

Auxiliary one: arrange his own small room with the child

You should arrange your room with your child before the formal separation. Let the children choose their favorite beds, lights, small desks, small cabinets, etc., everything is arranged as the child's favorite, and let the child participate in the arrangement, giving the child a small expectation that is about to live in.

For example, the princess style that girls like, the hero style of boys, tell the child: "This is your small world, you are the owner of you ..." Let the child have a sense of belonging to your room, and then divide the bed in the future to separate the bed in the future. It's much easier.

Auxiliary 2: Allow children to choose a favorite toy "sleeping"

At first, the child would feel lonely and scared when he slept alone. Mom can allow the child to choose a favorite toy as "sleeping partner". Holding or holding his familiar and favorite toys in his hand will make the child make the child the child. There is a sense of security and a feeling of being accompanied, which can eliminate children's loneliness.

Auxiliary three:

Hold a splitting ceremony for your children

Choose a time point with a sense of ritual, such as the child's birthday or the first day of the New Year, tell the child:

"Baby grows up again. From today, you are a big child, you can sleep alone!"

Then hold a room -sharing ceremony for the child, such as hanging ribbons in the room, replacing new sheets, new quilts, hanging a sign on the door of the room, writing the child's name, etc.It's big, it's really amazing, you can sleep yourself.Auxiliary 4: It is very important to accompany you before bedtime, you must not be saved

Before your parents sleep, it is best to accompany the child's room to tell the children about stories, play mini -games, and whispering.

Let the children feel that even if the bed is divided, the parents are still the parents who love themselves, and they are still the loved child, which is more conducive to the fact that they accept the fact that they sleep separately from their parents.