At the age of the rules, don't be friends with your children, potentially harmful

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At the age of the rules, don't be friends with your children, potentially harmful

2022-06-21 00:07:21 13 ℃

The age of the rules, don't be friends with your children, potentially harmful

It is said that the best parent -child relationship is to become friends with children, and there is no secret between the two generations. Such a harmonious picture really makes many parents' hearts, including myself.

As a post -90s mother, I have always believed in the method of parenting in science. The words "release of nature" are the most persistent persistence on my parenting road. From an early age, regardless of big things or trivial matters, they will fully respect their daughter's thoughts.

Originally, I thought that the daughter who was respected would maintain an independent and persistence personality and attitude, but the result was contrary to their wishes. In the end, I found that her three -year -old daughter was "unable to control", and her thoughts were too empty, and they were completely out of her temperament. After all, it is the expression of willfulness and selfishness, and everyone around me feels that I have broken the child.

At this moment, I suddenly remembered a sentence that I saw before: Don't make friends with the rules and be friends with children. "Release the nature" is the most irresponsible education method.

Democratic education is not wrong, but the premise is that children have the ability to distinguish between right and wrong and have their own identification. If they do what they want to do, when they cross the road, they suddenly release the hands of adults; when they are playing outside, they suddenly squat in the ground and cry loudly; or get angry or do with others ...

Once the child has such a performance, he is reminding his parents that there is something wrong with the previous educational methods. There is no way to be friends with children, because everyone's mind, cognition, and life experience have a big gap. The so -called friend is the same as those who are consistent with the three views so that everyone can get better and better.

Therefore, before becoming a friend with children, they should give them rules first, teach them right or wrong, and develop good habits and personality.

When is the most suitable rule for children?

In fact, most parents know the importance of the rules, but they do not know when the rules are appropriate. Everyone feels that before the age of two or three, the child is too young. What they say, the requirements mentioned, and the rules may be regarded as the wind.

But in fact, the rules must be early, and the sooner the better. Just like the habit, the rules will penetrate the bone marrow deeply and engraved deeply in their minds. Therefore, before the age of three, the child is the best period of the rules. Of course, in different ages, the rules are also different.

Before the age of 1, children at this stage were indeed immature, but they learned to crawl and had the idea of ​​exploration and curiosity, so there were more potential dangers. At this stage, the child is made clear instructions: the dangerous items that cannot be touched by the socket, the electrical appliances cannot be touched, and away from everything; and a regular eating and sleeping.

Before the age of 2, the child's mind and self -awareness were slowly awakening. They seemed to become smart suddenly, and they knew how to "stab" their parents through the method of temptation. For children's continuous tentative behavior, parents must resolutely say "no", completely cut their thoughts and resolutely do not condone.

Before the age of 3, children can do a lot of things. They eat independently, wear independent clothes, wash their faces and teeth before going to bed, and wash their hands before and after eating. These small rules are hidden in the details of life. Remember: Children "use" are not bad, their potential ability is endless.

The smaller the children, the easier it is to make rules. Instead, when they grow up, their thoughts and behaviors are mature, which is not conducive to the development of rules. Especially after developing the wrong habit, it is difficult to correct it, which is not good for later education.

How to give children rules? Mastering skills is very important

1. Parents lead by example

"The lawn is disciplined first." Before asking the child, parents should ask themselves. As the first teacher of the child, in addition to the responsibility of breeding and companionship, parents are more responsible for education. In life, you must be a good parent who is used as a person, and teach children more rules in the preaching of the body.

2. Keep the rules consistent before and after

At any time, we must maintain the consistency of the rules, which is the prerequisite to ensure that the child develops the rules. If you can't remember, you can write down the rules and stick to the eye -catching place at home. It can not only remind children in the invisible, but also ensure that the rules are consistent.

3. Increase the rules in combination with age

In addition to principles, the remaining rules need to be adjusted in combination with the age of the child. After three years old, most children have entered kindergarten, and their learning ability and social ability are constantly improving. The rules can also increase the difficulty and guide children to adapt slowly.

Regarding the rules, parents should help their children to complete them together.

Although the rules are formulated for their children, parents should also assist them to complete as the "good partner" on their growth.

Put your eyes in the long run, don't always stare at your children's mistakes, but be good at discovering their advantages. All the rules are developed a little bit. Do not praise the children every small progress.

Written at the end: When a child develops good rules and becomes friends with them, such parent -child relationships are the most comfortable. On the way to make a rules, parents must be more patient and don't let their children have the idea of ​​resistance.