[Weekly Letter 030] The power of hints -What should a child crying every day?2022-06-23 18:16:28 8 ℃
There is a child in my garden. It has been a while in the garden. It is okay in the garden, but every day when my father is delivered to the garden, he will cry. Until his father left, the teacher did not cry after coaxing. This is the case every day, and parents are particularly anxious.
Crying -there is a object. Children's crying is often selective, such as the children in the case, not uncomfortable with kindergarten, and crying in the morning crying to father.
Why do children cry? In a sense, children crying is actually the expectation of dad. An anxious father, in his subconscious, believes that the child cannot adapt to kindergarten, and the child's cry just proves his judgment. So the anxiety of Dad will be further strengthened.
Such a process of cycle reinforcement is called "self -belief" or "self -suggestion" in psychology. It can be said that everyone is the product of self -belief -the more we believe in, the more we can find the material of the evidence, so we will believe it further.
The same is true of children in the case. The child knows what Dad thinks- "Dad thinks to kindergarten is terrible", "Dad thinks that I can't adapt to a new environment" -. So, crying seems to be a choice made by dad and children. When Dad left, the belief that the teacher and the environment passed to the child were- "I adapt well!", "I am improving every day" — So, the child's positive and sunny side was inspired.
The same child is implied by different people that different behaviors are produced. This is the power of faith. So, is it a dad who is negatively implied? Or is it a teacher who hints on the front? Adults can choose.
Children are very sensitive, and he knows all your worries. In this case, the reason why children are not adapted are likely to be on their father. It is not that the child is afraid of going to kindergarten, but that parents are afraid of their children in kindergarten. As a result, the child's performance is "as you wish." Conversely, if parents think that going to kindergarten is a good thing, it is a happy thing, and children's anxiety and anxiety will be reduced a lot.
In short, for kindergartens and teachers, solving the problem of adaptation to the park is not only to solve the children's separation anxiety, but also important that it is to solve the separation anxiety of parents. If you can help parents take the separation correctly and frankly, the parent's mentality becomes peaceful and positive, which is the most favorable thing for children.
Boyuan Parenting Assistant
Parenting consultant around you
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